Yeah, I know, so does every fucker else. You can't be seriously middle class without it. "Oh you must go to Iceland this year...". And there's about a million self-indulgent blogs from people who got a cheap Ryanair flight to some shit hole in Eastern Europe and suddenly they are experts on the place.

Guess what? I'm no different. Here are my smart-arsed ramblings on places I've been and I am so self-absorbed that I think I can do better than Wikitravel.

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The start of the East

Istanbul was a place I wanted to go since I was a kid. It was a place that I figured would be weird, ancient and puzzling. It was. I think it is maybe my favourite city on the planet.

Last Train From Lombardy

Because everyone needs an Italian story to be properly pretentious

My trip to Lombardy, Venice, Verona and Padua just before the coronavirus pandemic hit and I get sick as a dog just to get into the spirit.


Flanders. Not the French part. That would just be stupid.

Here's a phrase you don't hear often. I love Belgium. I know that maybe puts me on a par with people who love stamps. Or Star Wars. But I love Belgium.


Auld Reekie. Braw.