stupid-sing

Total Stupidity Single Cylinder Diving

We have all seen it, the diver who wants everyone to see how good a diver he is by wearing the latest, most expensive and inappropriate equipment and swimming by pushing himself along the bottom on his fins with a silt storm behind him. Air to 60m, deco diving from a half-filled pony bottle, giving "good" advice to novice divers and getting more than his fair share wrong. Usually the loudest PADI instructor on a boat. There are better ways.

Jacket style "Technical" Buddy BCD with Auto Air/AIR II combined inflator & regulator and emergency bottle. Single 300bar/12litre cylinder with a pony bottle attached. Most jacket style BCD's put the buoyancy in the wrong place. Some use a wing type bladder, but even then they never sit right and the d-rings are never in the right place. AIR II's, etc., breathe badly at depth and freeflow easily. Emergency bottles are difficult to control buoyancy with, and are often half full or out of test. See here for pony bottles. High pressure cylinders are difficult to fill properly and put extra stress on equipment and hoses.

The main regulator has a normal length hose as the primary which is breathed. The octopus is on a 1m hose and the second stage is either stuffed in a pocket or hanging from a retainer. A second stage from the pony bottle is hanging from a retainer also and a hose goes to the Auto Air mouthpiece/inflator.
The long hose regulator should always be breathed (see here). If the octopus is in a pocket then it is not instantly available and a retainer could tear off the mouthpiece. Having so many emergency choices leads to confusion and delay. Running the BCD inflation off your (tiny) emergency air supply does not make sense.

Computer, pressure gauge and compass are combined into a console. The computer does deco stop calculations, "just in case" the diver goes into decompression. He has a pony after all, so why not? Consoles get in the way, cause drag and lead to laziness in taking readings. Decompression should never be unplanned. Computers are fine for no-deco stuff, but deco diving is best done from tables. Having a pony is not adequate safety for decompression diving, and the belief that it is is an unsafe attitude.

Primary light is a UK800R, with a lightstick in a pocket, for back-up on night dives. Lantern type lights take up a hand to use, they are bulky and difficult to stow when not in use. Once a lightstick is out of the wrapper it has a very short lifespan, they can be activated by accident and is not adequate back-up.

Diver wears Force Fins or Mares Quattros. Overly expensive and not any better than a basic fin. Force Fins are impossible to use without kicking silt everywhere.

Knife is worn on the ankle, a "goody" bag hangs from a d-ring, a "sausage" marker is rolled up and clipped to a "clicky" ratchet reel and the whole package is clipped to a d-ring. Knife on the ankle looks good but is an entanglement hazard and is probably unreachable when it is needed. Accesories should never just hang there, stow everything out of the way where possible. Ratchet reels are too big, they usually do not hold much line and have too many bits to break.

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Jacket style "Technical" Buddy BCD with Auto Air/AIR II combined inflator & regulator and emergency bottle. Single 300bar/12litre cylinder with a pony bottle attached.	Most jacket style BCD's put the buoyancy in the wrong place. Some use a wing type bladder, but even then they never sit right and the d-rings are never in the right place. AIR II's, etc., breathe badly at depth and freeflow easily. Emergency bottles are difficult to control buoyancy with, and are often half full or out of test. See here for pony bottles. High pressure cylinders are difficult to fill properly and put extra stress on equipment and hoses.
The main regulator has a normal length hose as the primary which is breathed. The octopus is on a 1m hose and the second stage is either stuffed in a pocket or hanging from a retainer. A second stage from the pony bottle is hanging from a retainer also and a hose goes to the Auto Air mouthpiece/inflator.	The long hose regulator should always be breathed (see here). If the octopus is in a pocket then it is not instantly available and a retainer could tear off the mouthpiece. Having so many emergency choices leads to confusion and delay. Running the BCD inflation off your (tiny) emergency air supply does not make sense.
Computer, pressure gauge and compass are combined into a console. The computer does deco stop calculations, "just in case" the diver goes into decompression. He has a pony after all, so why not?	Consoles get in the way, cause drag and lead to laziness in taking readings. Decompression should never be unplanned. Computers are fine for no-deco stuff, but deco diving is best done from tables. Having a pony is not adequate safety for decompression diving, and the belief that it is is an unsafe attitude.
Primary light is a UK800R, with a lightstick in a pocket, for back-up on night dives.	Lantern type lights take up a hand to use, they are bulky and difficult to stow when not in use. Once a lightstick is out of the wrapper it has a very short lifespan, they can be activated by accident and is not adequate back-up.
Diver wears Force Fins or Mares Quattros.	Overly expensive and not any better than a basic fin. Force Fins are impossible to use without kicking silt everywhere.
Knife is worn on the ankle, a "goody" bag hangs from a d-ring, a "sausage" marker is rolled up and clipped to a "clicky" ratchet reel and the whole package is clipped to a d-ring.	Knife on the ankle looks good but is an entanglement hazard and is probably unreachable when it is needed. Accesories should never just hang there, stow everything out of the way where possible. Ratchet reels are too big, they usually do not hold much line and have too many bits to break.