Trier Cathedral

Mediaeval relic factory.

Trier Cathedral was founded by Helena, the mother of Constantine the Great. Despite living 350 years after the Gospels were written, she went to Jerusalem and found damn near every object mentioned in the New Testament. You have to admit that's pretty good going. The big stuff, like the tomb of Jesus? I can see that maybe still being there three and a half centuries later. Maybe not signposted but sure, it could've been there. But she found everything else, too. She found the real cross complete with nails. She found the sign that was nailed to the cross. The crown of thorns. Jesus's robe. The staircase from Pilate's house. The bones of the Three Kings. In Egypt, she even tracked down the actual site of the burning bush.

Either she is the greatest archaeologist in history or there's something amiss here. A lot of that stuff has ended up here, in Trier Cathedral. In fact, it's like the Amazon of holy relics. The cathedral and its treasury hold a piece of just about everyone that has been sainted and did a roaring mail order trade in bits of dead people supplied to churches across Europe.

It's an impressive sight when you enter it. At first, it looks like an Acme Gothic cathedral that you will find throughout Europe. But you need to get your eye in. You need to look for the join.

Constantine co-opted one of his mother's palaces in the city as a building site. Considering what you see is a quarter of the original complex, and that it was just one of Helena's palaces, it gives you an idea of just how powerful, and rich, Constantine and his family actually were.

If you can spot the Roman stuff then you are looking 1700 years into the past. Trier is one of the oldest Christian buildings in Europe. The big giveaway is the brickwork. Brick wasn't a proper material for a cathedral in the middle ages but the Romans were absolute masters of it. When you are standing within a brick-built area then you are standing in the Roman basilica.

It's easier to spot outside. The exterior shows all the phases of the cathedral's development. At the back is what looks like some kind of baptistry and clearly old, probably Roman. There are stretches of plain, Roman brick with simple tall, arched windows. I like these bits. Sure, the Romanesque and Gothic stuff is impressive but surprisingly it is the simplicity of the Roman parts that stand out.

Meeting Helena

If you want to see Helena, the inventor of archaeology (or complete fraud, you decide) and mother of one of the most important emperors Rome had, then descend into the crypt.

There is a bronze bust of her, holding the legit nails that she found. Her skull is in there, in the little door in the base.

Trier Cathedral is huge. It is impressive and very grand and formed the model for many of Europe's great cathedrals. But... I don't know. It kind of left me a little cold. The Liebfraukirche next door is another grand Gothic pile but it's also warm and welcoming. The cathedral is maybe too grand. I always feel like these big churches are not the place for the likes of me. It's a hell of a long way from the minimalism of a Roman basilica as you'd see in the Aula Palatina.

I loved the artwork from the Dark Ages in the Treasury. It really is beautiful. Sure, the relics are more than likely as fake as Kim Kardashian's arse but there is no getting away from the exquisite work of the reliquaries that hold them.

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